The Parking Lot Commandments

10 surf laws that your local lot should abide by

In the beginning was The Lot. Photo: Ellis
In the beginning was The Lot. Photo: Ellis

Thou shalt feel free to borrow wax out of the back of an open-bed truck. That chunk of surfboard stickiness is fair game, just as long as you aren't using the last of it. Wax combs, too.

Thou shalt not drink coffee and talk about surfing, but never paddle out. Checking the waves for hours while bullshitting about life, surfing, sessions past, and growing older is a wonderful thing. Stalling and not paddling out when there are waves to be had is not.

Thou shalt heckle your buddies from the curb. Did you see 'Jimmy Cutback' send a floppy-armed floater into that boogie boarder? God what a kook – let him hear it from the parking lot.

Thou shalt avoid the meter maid when checking the surf. It's a cherished art form. Learn it.

Thou shalt make use of (unused) dog poop bags to slip your wet wetsuit over your feet. Some things, like putting your suit on in a hurry, are worth sacrificing every shred of dignity you possess.

Thou shalt not hoard thy hot water after a cold winter's session. Look at your parking lot neighbor over there, shivering in her booties, unable to open the car door with her frostbitten fingers. Don't bogart the hot water.

Thou shalt openly pee in thy wetsuit on the way to the water. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Best to do it when there’s the promise of a duckdive rinse.

Thou shalt not let thy friend paddle out without offering sunscreen. If you want to keep surfing with your pals forever, faces intact, dole out the banana boat.

Thou shalt not crack a beer without passing some to the bros/bettys. Capping off a good session with a cold one might very well be the best form of celebration. Hell, capping off a horrible session with a cold one might be the best way to lift your spirits.

Thou shalt take photos of any, and all, Kooks of the Day. It's your duty. No Kook of the Day left behind.

[Editor's note: "Corndogging" is a satirical column in which we take serious surf issues, dunk 'em in the ocean, and roll them around in the sand for awhile.]