“But can Kolohe Andino really pay for pizza inside one of the heaviest waves in the world?” — Morgan Freeman, VISA commercial, 9/7/14
I think it’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves for some time now. When little Kolohe first started popping air reverses in the San Clemente shorebreak, and the sponsorship dollars did flow, we initially wondered, “Can little Kolohe pay for a pizza mid-stalefish?” We never found out.
Then, slightly bigger Kolohe qualified for the major leagues, joining the WCT ranks in 2012, and right off the bat, I think we all asked ourselves the same question: “Can Kolohe order a pizza from behind the rock at Snapper? And if so, can he do it during a three-man no loser’s round?” Sadly, that question too remained unanswered.
Now, full-grown Kolohe, euro goatee and everything, is in full-flight as a marketable surf professional, and again, the questions. By now, even Morgan Freeman was ceaselessly thinking about the prodigal son of Dino Andino, and he couldn’t help but wonder: “Yes, yes, Kolohe is handsome, he rips, he’s having the solid year we all expected on the WCT. But, can he really pay for pizza inside one of the heaviest waves in the world? I mean, can he really?”
It was a great question. We hadn’t even thought to ask that. But you know what? Freeman did. The marketing wizards at VISA (NYSE: V +0.42%) did. And the ad guys at Pizza Hut (NYSE: YUM – 0.27%) did. Even Teahupoo (NYSE: GNAR + 1 million%) was curious.
Turns, out, if that ad can be believed, and I’ll just assume that it can and ignore the small print at the bottom of the screen, Kolohe can indeed order pizza from inside the barrel at Teahupoo. Now, at press time, it’s unclear from which branch Kolohe actually ordered the pizza, since there is not in fact a Pizza Hut in Tahiti. But thankfully, Freeman’s question has been answered. I think we all will look at surfing and Pizza Hut and VISA with a whole new appreciation.
Ah, but the big question that you may be asking yourself. “Should Kolohe be shilling for Pizza Hut and VISA in a commercial at one of the most hallowed waves on earth?” Sure. Why not? He’s a real surfer, at a real wave, and it’s filmed awesomely. I’d take 1,000 of these ads over that hideous Alana Blanchard T-Mobile commercial.
Admit it, you’d have jumped at the chance to make that commercial. And the paycheck involved. You would have. I would have. Though, I’ll admit I would’ve been scared to order Pizza Hut from a Teahupoo barrel…that shit is nasty.