The Brave New World of Artisan Surf Wax

From Byron by way of Brooklyn by way of Portland

ARE YOU READY?

ARE YOU READY FOR THE SURF PRODUCT ENHANCEMENT YOU NEVER SAW COMING?

Actually, this should have been obvious, in retrospect. Candles. Let’s use those as an example. Like, $35 bucks now for a well-made, beeswax hipster candle complete with a hand-tied hemp wick. With or without mason jar. I’d never pay that, but lots of people do, apparently.

So it should come as no surprise that the surf wax market was ripe for a bit of elevation. But still, when I asked to borrow some wax from a friend the other day and she busted out a three-cornered wax bar that looked the Triforce from Legend of Zelda and that smelled of Haight Street’s finest incense, I realized that the surf wax biz had advanced forward a whole bunch of steps without me paying much attention.

Look at these examples:

Kassia Palo Santo Wax: $6

You may remember this as an equilateral triangle.
You may remember this as an equilateral triangle.

Smells like Palo Santo which smells like a head shop. Triangular in shape, which is nice. You can bust off a corner without using your teeth. Pretty cool, I like that it’s sharable. The only product on this list that I actually used, but, full disclosure: I was wearing booties, so who knows. Felt sticky enough, I guess. It had never occurred to me that wax that smells like something besides coconuts or bubble gum or root beer was even possible, let alone a good idea. That alone is a monumental achievement in surf waxery.

Necro Skull Wax: $6.66

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Imagine how terrifying this’ll look after it partially melts in your car on a hot day.

It costs $6.66 – get it? Seems strange to base your pricing on a satanically-significant number and not, say, a profit and loss report, but maybe the devil himself owns a share in Necro. Hell, Derek Rielly at Beachgrit does. Personally, I like the skull thing, but I also like actually putting the wax on my surfboard, which worries me. Seems rubbing the cute little skull on your board would ruin both the skull and make an even coat of wax devilishly (!) hard to apply.

Indoek Resin Rock Wax Kit: $125

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Little surf wax fortresses

So this product is $125. True, it’s not wax you’re paying for but a resin sculpture thingy that holds wax (which is kept expensively closed by rare earth magnets). Myself, I’ve always been just fine with a little dirty plastic box to keep wax in. If you don’t like the look of the resin rock, you could also opt for the $95 wooden wax box / wax comb. Both the wooden number and this Superman Fortress of Solitude resin box look gorgeous. And they better.