How to Skip Work for Surf

Whether you have to lie, cheat, or steal, you have to do whatever it takes when your homebreak produces this. Photo: Ghiglia

It could be argued that skipping out on work during a recession to go for a surf is, well, somewhat “irresponsible.” But ask yourself this: How irresponsible would it be to let the day of the year at your homebreak pass you by? Yeah, that’s what we thought. We consulted a few everyday surfers to get the workingman’s perspective on shunning work to go surf. The next time perfection knocks and you need an excuse to bail from your cubicle, do yourself a favor and consult our list of pointers below.

Although it may be cliché, feigning an ailment is the bread-and-butter of excuses to get out of work. From severe nausea to migraines, it’s literally an open field when it comes to formulating a list of phony symptoms. A word of advice: The more contagious your illness, the better. “Calling in sick is just about the oldest trick in the book,” says Dean Edwards, a high school English teacher. “I must have called into work and put on the sick voice a few dozen times. You’ve got to be careful not to overdo it though. It’s almost too easy of an excuse, and people will get suspicious if you’re calling in sick every other week.” As an alternative—for the parents out there—the sick child excuse tends to work wonders as well.

One of the most tried-and-tested ways to get out of work to surf is to technically still be “working.” Example: You’re in sales and need to take a client out to lunch. Well, don’t take him out to “lunch.” Instead of spending two hours shooting the shit and nibbling at your entrée, meet up at a coffee bar for a quick cup and you’ll free up an entire hour to go demolish that wedge going off down the street. Technically, you’ve held the meeting, but you also made it rain for an hour as well. “I’ve definitely used the long lunch excuse a few times,” says Noah Corpuz, a graphic designer. “I’ve had a few ‘meetings with the printers’ where I rushed through it and wound up in the water all afternoon.”

If you’re trying to shun some responsibility at home, working late tends to be a golden excuse. If your significant other has you scheduled to assemble that new end table from IKEA all afternoon, but the forecast is pumping, consider “putting in some overtime” at the office. Turn your phone off so you can really “focus,” grab your suit and board, and commence shredding. As a word of advice, you’ll need to come back from your session looking like you’ve been in front of a computer screen for 10 hours. Spill some coffee on yourself, look disheveled, and most of all, rid yourself of anything that can connect you to your session. “I’ve definitely pulled out of some responsibility at home to go surf and used the working-late excuse,” says Taylor Schultz, who works in marketing. “You just want to be careful not to let your wife think you’re having an affair.”

All names have been changed…for obvious reasons.