Recession is the Mother of Invention

SURFER receives packages and letters from all sorts of delusional people on a daily basis. One of my favorites is a guy who, at least once a week, sends in a hand-written letter scratched on stacks of various pieces of paper—some lined notepaper, some photocopies of articles out of newspapers. It's schizophrenic babble that's always entirely incoherent (though I think it has something to do with 3D?). If we had kept all of them over the last year, the pile would probably reach mid-thigh, by a conservative estimate.

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Better than that, though, is the package we recently received postmarked from Edmond, Oklahoma. The manila enveloped contained two cork "fins," along with a letter expressing that the fins come "ready to glass," "can be shaped to any specs," and that "Yes, they float." (Why they would need to float is unclear.)

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Perfect! All you need to do is draw the fin you want on the order sheet and mail it to Oklahoma, then they'll trace them onto their Home Depot-supplied 47-cent-per-yard cork, and mail it back to you. Then all you have to do is buy resin and fiberglass, glass them, and attach them to your board. It's just so simple!

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Clearly, not the most well thought-out idea.