Star of the hit stoner comedy “Workaholics,” Blake’s character personifies the American dream of working a dead-end job, staying stoned, and having adventures.
Star of the freesurfing world, Craig personifies the surf-dream of jumping on trips to exotic locations, staying stoked, and having adventures.
Both have the illustrious hair of a golden lion, and mustaches that are more than slightly suspect.
Paternity Test: Rob Machado
Better known as the Karate Kid, Ralph captivated the masses with his journey to martial arts stardom with the help of Mr. Miyagi. Ralph went on to appear in several films and television episodes with mixed results.
Better known as J-Flo, Jeremy captivated surf fans with his ascension to the World Tour and martial arts infamy with the help of Sunny Garcia. Jeremy went on to appear in the blogosphere with mixed results.
Both achieved fame at a young age and both have engaged in martial arts on film. Only one was reprimanded for this.
Paternity Test: Benjamin Bratt
As the legendary frontman for the British heavy metal band Motörhead, Lemmy became notorious for taking speed and going on tour for long stretches without ever sleeping. According to a documentary on Britain’s Channel 4, Lemmy is a bit of a ladies’ man and has slept with over 2,000 women.
As one of Australia’s biggest surf personalities, Wilko became notorious for going fast on his rollerblades while on Tour and occasionally falling asleep in public. According to widely accepted rumor, Matt Wilkinson is not a virgin.
Both have earned a reputation for greasy locks, degenerate facial fair, and a love for fermented beverages.
Paternity Test: Frank Zappa