Week in Review has taken a two-week vacation. Surely you were wandering aimlessly through interweb, unsure of where to turn for incredibly useless loosely surf-related information. Apologies. Won’t happen again. That’s a lie. It definitely will happen again.
Alana Blanchard is Sexiest Woman in Sport
According to Men's Health, Alana is the sexiest woman in sport. The article reads: "You won't find this wave rider in a wetsuit. 'I can wear a bikini on the beach. Why not in the water?' the 21-year-old says." Hmmm, sound logic. Anastasia Ashley also made the list.
The surfer with the highest heat score at J-Bay will take home this ostentatiously snazzy specimen: a Nixon watch valued at over $10,000 USD (as in 10 grand, enough to buy 909 of these watches). It may not be this watch, but does feature “60 black diamonds around the bezel, four decorative emeralds on the dial, 24 emeralds on the hands for hour indices, and six emeralds on the crown.”
Surf Waves on the Sun…
Because that’s a great idea. According to NASA, “Scientists have spotted the iconic surfer’s wave rolling through the atmosphere of the sun.” I’m all for getting little children interested in space by pretending this article has something to do with surfing, but calling this molten curl of sizzling plasma an “iconic surfer’s wave” is just silly.
Or the most uncomfortably serious commercial since Water is the Essence of Moisture?
Live in Laird's Crib
In a press release this week it was announced that the "legendary waterman's big wave training compound—featured on MTV Cribs—is available for sale for the very first time." It also notes that "the entire first floor has been converted into a gym, and the 1,764 sq. ft. garage accommodates six vehicles and a flotilla of watercraft, including jet skis used for tow in surfing," and that the Hamiltons "own an adjacent parcel, split their time between Hawaii and Malibu, California." So simply write a check for $2,750,000, gather your flotilla of watercraft, and you'll soon be shaking hands with your new neighbor, Laird.
The Recycled Beer Can Board
After a disappointing first run, recycled board maker Rich Morrison said: "It (the board) took on some water so probably we will re video after it dries out, maybe uppers next time, if it did not take on water we would have gotten some better surf footage… the video footage came out kind of like a bigfoot sighting! you kind of saw something but were not to sure what is was! the good folks down at blacks were stoked to see this engineering feet of conceptual art." Below is session No. 2. Success!
And Now for Someone Else Doing Something Ridiculous on a Wave
Zoltan Torkos is at it again. He says he’s “just trying to keep it creative and innovative.” Creativity: handled.
Balaram Stack Featured in Rolling Stone
Someone’s got a great PR person. The article quotes Kelly Slater saying, “It’s baffling that nobody’s come from New York. But Balaram is loose and ready for whatever. He’s smooth with the ladies too, and that’s important right now.” It’s important always.