LOTW runs for seven days, with the week’s most brilliant submissions picked and posted every Monday on surfingmagazine.com. There are two ways to write in: send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, or use the Write a Letter tab on our Facebook page.Surfers. We are tolerant and groovy, right? We judge not? We can hang with any crew, and any crew with us?
Last week I got called a fag at Lowers, on the walking path down to the beach, and I think I need your help.
It was warm and sunny compared to how it’s been (grey and cold), plus everyone who would usually be clogging Lowers like a toilet was in C—tington Beach for the shitshow [Note: We think he means the US Open], so I was happy and decided to trunk it. I wore my Insight trunks that are too high above the knee for East Germany, I mean San Clemente, and a Matuse jacket, and I was riding a keel fin fish that I shaped myself without a Skil planer — just a Sureform and sandpaper and a hand planer for the stringer. My friend set the fins and glassed the board. It’s not perfect but it works alright and it has absolutely zero logos on it. The board is short like my trunks, and wide, and not an Al Merrick or Lost or Patterson board, and I think all those factors resulted in my being called a fag.
Two guys who looked like Kolohe Andino impersonators rode by on skateboards and between my board, trunks and beard/mustache combo I guess they didn’t like how I looked. I had no New Era hat or anything, so I’m a fag. I shape my own board, so I’m a fag. I surf by myself, so fag. I want you to please send me whatever boring mass-produced clothes and surfboards I need to be “sick” and not a fag anymore. Thanks for helping out.
—Jeff the fag