Are you incredibly wealthy? Are your days filled with very little responsibility and therefore a surplus of free time? Do you have a fresh quiver of boards ranging from 5’8″ to 6’2″ that have been staring at you with puppy dog eyes, begging and I mean begging for a typhoon swell? Then I have an idea for you…
Go to Japan. Like, now.
There are two tropical storms spinning in the Pacific right now. Some call ’em the twin typhoons. Others are saying they’re twin mothers. I even heard one guy in Walgreens just now call them the barometric bandits — he was buying a bottle of Jägermeister though, and I learned in journalism school to never use anyone whose breath smells like black Twizlers mixed with butane as a source. While we may not be able to agree on a catchy name, we should all be on the same page when it comes to sending swell. Especially when you look at this:
See that? That’s juice, baby. Cold-pressed and organic. Now according to my calculations (wave height x wave period ÷ color), it could be as good as Japan gets. Think: Lost Atlas. Think: This photo gallery. Talk about dreamy. And it’s all only a plane ticket away. Go on now. Go on and find this.Photo: Brent Bielmann
Or, if you somehow don’t meet all the qualifications listed in the first paragraph, then I’m sincerely sorry about the fact that you got dealt such a shitty hand in life. But if you’re the type who can live vicariously, we’ll bring you updates as they come. Do enjoy.