tktk

Look real, real close. Waves! A computer’s idea of what our surfing future holds.

If you’ve seen Bladerunner as many times as I have, then you’re likely just as convinced as I am that our future will take place entirely in skyscrapers (and in off-world colonies). There’s only so much available land out there, so, up, up, up we go. But where to put the wavepools that we’ll all surf in once the oceans have acidified? On skyscrapers, of course.

But we don’t have to wait for the dystopian future to ride wavepool-generated surf in the sky. Orlando, Florida’s Skyplex™ themepark is set to host the “Sky Surf Park” by 2018, a wavepool hoisted a full 10 stories up into the glorious Floridian heavens.

I’ll be the first to ask: why the hell do we have to wait so long? 2018? That’s like two new Star Wars movies away! We could be two years into the Donald Trump administration! An asteroid may be bearing down on the earth at this moment that will smite us all long before then!

And for two years we have to just sit with this nugget from Todd Holland, the best bearded surfer ever on the World Tour, and certainly the most hot-rod knowledgeable: "Sky Surf Park in Orlando has incredible potential to provide locals with tools for surf education never seen anywhere else."

Well, that’s certainly true, because as of the time of this writing, no other wave pools are planned that are perilously perched on the nose of a skyscraping theme park.

Here is a video of the technology behind the Sky Surf Park, and, frankly, I can’t wait.