Perfect Heats

Perfect is boring. Except in surfing.

Nothing boring or imperfect about Own Wright's Fiji Pro act. Photo: Joli

Nothing boring or imperfect about Own Wright’s Fiji Pro act. Photo: Joli

Perfection is boring. Character, the good stuff in life, is made up of little tiny flaws after all. Perfectly beautiful people are bland. Perfectly composed food is dull. Perfectly performed music? Yawn. Give us beauty marks, grease stains, and record scratches.

But not in sports.

Sure, we want our athletes human and imperfect and dripping with lovable character traits (see: Occhilupo, Mark), but by God we want their performances to be, well, God-like. Get out there and touch the heavens, damn it. Especially do this, dear athletes, if you’re pro surfers, because watching Tour events is often Dullsville.

But Owen Wright’s two, (TWO!) perfect-20 heat scores at the Fiji Pro were entire zip codes away from Dullsville. His surfing in those heats resided in a town called Perfectville inhabited by well-to-do citizens who’ve never been to Dullsville and are proud to tell you all about how they’ve never ever been to Dullsville. Whitewater slingshot takeoffs into hundred-yard long bottom turns into heaving, pissing barrels. That’s the stuff. That’s why we mainline the WSL feed when the events are at big tropical reef passes. Surfing like that makes it too easy to justify watching the events during the middle of an otherwise productive afternoon and not at all feel bad about ignoring our boss’s emails. That kind of surfing doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s worth tuning out everything else and basking in the moment. Sorry we didn’t answer those emails boss. We were on vacation in Perfectville.