Outer Reef, Hawaii. Photo: Hank
It’s Black Friday.
A sacred day for the material-crazed deal savant that will forever live in that complex three streets down from you. The worst day of the year for the rest of us. Well, maybe not the worst — but at least the most confusing. People (Like that lady. Fuck her Kia.) storm superstores with the same energy as soldiers storming the beaches of Normandy back in ’44. And all for what, a new blender? It’s a phenomena few of us will ever understand.
But these guys in the photo? They get it. You might Koa Rothman, Nathan Florence and prowling the market for a new gun after this one. Cashier says they’re at the end of aisle 11, right next to the propane tanks and balls the size of Texas.