So Joel, I’m putting you on the Hot Seat.
Under what grounds?

Well, let’s start with the latest 55 DSL advertisement featuring you in our Big Issue where you’re covered in boils and blotches. Was that your idea?

No. No it wasn’t my idea, it was the guy that owns Deisel’s son, Adrea Rosso’s idea. He does all the ads for 55 (DSL), and he kind of likes to do things that shock people. You know, things that are little twists on the ordinary, and he thought it was really funny that people surf right in front of a power plant, so…

So what are you supposed to have come down with, exactly?
I think it’s radiation sickness.

Speaking of sick, you’re looking a little gaunt in that ad.
Yeah, well, I had just come back from a trip, and then I had to go to Holland to do that ad. It’s really hard to eat when you’re on the road and I’ve got a really strict diet.

So tell us about that. You’re macrobiotic?
Whoa. No. I’m not that gnarly.

But you are a vegetarian?
Yeah, and I can’t just go out and pick up a cheeseburger, you know?

Yeah so is that why I saw you in the gym the other day? Are you trying to bulk up?
No. I don’t think I could bulk up. It’s just good, you know, to be in there and work on strength and things like that.

Pump a little iron…

Yeah, I don’t pump too much iron. I only weigh 145 pounds, so…

With that big trucker hat you were wearing at the gym, you looked a little incognito. Do you try and keep a low profile there?
No. It’s just that I’ve been going a little hessian lately with my hair, and I need to keep it out of my face. I’m not going to go in there wearing a headband. I’m not too in to lookin’ like Lieutenant Dan.

So that trip you took to Amsterdam, was that the one that you had to miss the SURFER Magazine Andaman Islands trip with Art Brewer for?
Yeah. I was bummed, but it’s kind of hard when your sponsors are paying your bills, and they want you somewhere. You’ve got to be there. I would have loved to be on that trip, but I didn’t have much of a choice.

Did Art (Brewer) lay into you?
Yeah, typical Art. He gave me some shit for that one, but I think he’ll get over it.

So did you go to Amsterdam, or did you go to Amsterdam? Cause we were thinking maybe that’s where all those boils and blotches came from…
No, Holland was great, but I didn’t spend too much time in Amsterdam. That place is sketchy. I think Satan lives there. I try to avoid hanging out with that guy as much as possible.

-Ross Garrett