Week in Review

Random happenings in surf for the Week of August 15

Here is a list of strange occurrences, which includes, but is not limited to, gossip disguised as news, packaged snacks disguised as news, and items that should never be considered news. ‘Twas a lovely week.

Do You Love the Smell of Driftwood?
Sometimes Week in Review items fall into my lap. Literally. This morning it was a box from Hollister. In it was a surfer, with his trunks suggestively untied, that smelled of “saltwater, and mandarine with clary sage, driftwood, and warm sand” (according to the press pack for “Break Line” cologne). They also point out that Break Line is “the ultimate point where the wave’s crest rushes back to meet the ocean.” Ponder that one for a second.

If you would like to smell like warm sand, email me and I will send him to you.

Jordy Smith Looks Like a Farmer?

Watch Jordy watch his posse prepare him for Tahiti.

Celebrities Nearly Surf
This was a big week in “celebrity” “surf” “news” with Lindsay Lohan AND Reese Witherspoon “caught” at beaches, in wetsuits, “surfing.” They dropped-knee, and they smoked cigs, and they dressed the part, and they looked beautiful.

The World Championship of Crap

In a press release this week it was announced that Cornwall will host the World Championship of Crap Surfing this September. Yes, you read that right. Crap surfing. As in, the surf is crap, the surfers are crap, and they are determined to find out who is the crappiest. The release goes on to say that last year’s event was judged by “a world kickboxing champion, a former British and European longboard champion, and a local undertaker.” Fighters, loggers, and undertakers, hence, are the de facto evaluators of crap.
No, that isn’t a joke.

Bobby Changes Sponsors
On July 29, ALL CAPS Bobby805 said he was through with Twitter. On Tuesday, thankfully, he returned. And this week, Bobby Martinez announced he has changed sponsors and is now a proud team rider of FTW Clothing. Congrats, Bobby.

The Surf Buckle
This is an Irish invention that needs funding. If you’ve always dreamed of having a belt buckle that can take wax off your board, tighten your fins, and open your beer, you should probably donate. They only need $41,876 more to make this dream a reality.

A Bad Week for Artificial Reefs
According to Taranaki Daily News, “the Opunake artificial surf reef is dead in the water - taking $1.5 million of public money down with it.” Meanwhile, according to The BBC, England’s $5.3 million artificial reef in Boscombe was damaged by a boat this week. Though both reefs were intended to be surfing reefs, neither have reached their promised potential. The artificial reef in India shown below seemed to work, but our India correspondents, Todd Prodanovich and Chris Burkard, have since informed us that that reef too has also failed.

This Has Everything To Do With Surfing
Breaking News! According to SurfingMagazine.com Pop Chips have announced a new flavor!

UPDATE: Since we took this screenshot on Wednesday, apparently they realized that this is not in fact news and have taken it down. To our friends at Surfing: We still love you.

Morgan Maassen’s Strange Photo of the Week
Your weekly installment of weird.

That is not photo-shopped. That is Sterling Spencer and his friend. Photo: Maassen

August 8 \\ August 1 \\ July 25 \\ July 18 \\ June 27 \\ June 20 \\ June 13 \\ June 6 \\ May 30 \\ May 16 \\ May 9 \\ May 2 \\ April 25 \\ April 18 \\ April 11 \\ April 4 \\ March 28 \\ March 21 \\ March 14 \\ March 7