Week in Review was birthed in March. It became a home for the obscure stories/photos/Tweets/videos that were largely ignored by the “serious” “surf news” sites. It became a year of procrastination, disguised as a diligent weekly interweb search for the important, yet bizarre, occurrences of the surf world. Here are the highlights from a year of hard work.
Alana Blanchard Turned 21
Guys drink beers on their birthdays. Alana Blanchard, Laura Enever, Nage Melamed, Monyca Byrne-Wickey, and Coco Ho do this.
Dancing with Occy
It was announced this week that Mark “Occy” Occhilupo will be one of the 2011 contestants on Dancing with the Stars in Australia. The photo alone is gold.
World-Class Athletes or Homeless People?
Perusing the Top 34 on ASPWorldTour.com, one comes upon these three top-notch athletes.
“Brah, what’s up with the Wave Jet?”
Sterling Goes to France
Why are dubious foreign-accent voice-overs so funny?
Pirates Invade Lowers
This has been all over the web this week, but in case you missed it, here you go…
Kelly Slater on Chelsea Lately
On Wednesday, Slater appeared on E!’s nighttime talk show with Chelsea Handler. A quick recap of the show: Kelly plugged his girlfriend’s bikini line, then he plugged Quiksilver, then Chelsea referenced Baywatch, compared Kelly to Laird, and called him “tiny.”
In Other Ridiculous Stand-Up Paddle News…
An American Girl doll was recently released with a stand-up paddleboard as her definitive accessory. Should we be worried?
Sally Gets Sexy
You know her as the fierce competitor who battled Carissa for the World Title in 2011. Here, we see a more naked, less aggressive Sally Fitzgibbons in this month’s edition of “Stab Persuades Surfer Girls to Take Their Tops Off.” Oh, and then Erica Hosseini one-upped her.
Cory Lopez and His Small Child
Even if you’re one of those people who thinks kids are gross, you should watch this. It’s amazing.
The Richest Surfers in All the Land
According to BRW’s Rich List, an annual ranking of the Top 50 Australian sports and entertainment earners, Taj Burrow (No. 25 on the list, makes $2 mill a year), Mick Fanning (No. 27, $2 million), and Joel Parkinson (No. 47, $1.5 million) are the richest Aussie surfers. Stephanie Gilmore (No. 48, $1.2 million) and Julian Wilson (No. 50, $1.2 million) rounded out the list.
Dane’s Defense
This week, Dane Reynolds presented us with his “Declaration of Independence,” in which he explains, “i’ve been getting some pressure from various people and/or websites to write something, sorta like an official statement concerning my exit from the world tour. my dismount. my pirouette…” It’s a long, sparsely punctuated opus in which he levels with us, explaining, “i feel like a baseball. the skins been carefully pried off and there’s a thread and i’m gonna pull it and i’m gonna end up a pile of string on the floor. but then maybe i’ll be knit into something more useful, like a sweater. or perhaps something beautiful, like a hand embroidered masterpiece of a deer and two fawn drinking cold clear water out of a creek.” And then Sterling Spencer wrote his own. Click here to read it.
Morgan Maassen’s Strange Photo of the Year
SURFER photog Morgan Maassen consistently captures odd images. And Craig Anderson, he had the best year ever, as far as hanging out and getting photos taken goes. We crown you both masters of your craft.
