In the beginning, God made California. Or so you would think. For decades, So Cal’s media machine has made West Coasters the genesis for nearly every US milestone outside Hawaii. But, as the following timeline will prove, the truth is Right Coasters have been masters of their destiny since the dawn of time.

30 Million BC
Ice age melts and recedes, creating a glorious stretch of coastline along the world’s second largest ocean.

August 28, 1565
The Spanish sail across said ocean and settle St. Augustine, FL, the oldest city in America.

August 18, 1587
Roanoke Island, NC. Virginia Dare becomes the first East Coaster born in North America (besides about a million Native Americans.)

The first tourists invade Hatteras as Union soldiers stage an amphibious landing at Frisco. Immediately ask, “Where’s Buxton?”

The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is completed — 198 feet of East Coast pride.

Fishermen in Sebastian Florida dig out an inlet with shovels and wheelbarrows (no wonder they’re so damn protective); it only takes {{{80}}} years for surfers to take over.

East coast surfing officially begins with “Wave shooting” contest in Virginia Beach, using canoes and dories; that same year, VB’s James Jordon receives a Hawaiian board as a gift and makes newspapers. Summer: Duke bodysurfs Steel Pier — better late than never.

Surfing grows in VB via demonstrations by lifeguards Hugh Kitchin, Babe Brathwaite, John Smith and Capt. Robert Holland

John Smith and company begin introducing surfing through southeast and Florida while renting beach concessions. Budweiser rafts come later.

SFL’s Bill and Dudley Whitman build first East Coast board ever: a 10 ft, 87 lb longboard based on a Hawaiian design. They paint it fluorescent yellow.