As if sharks weren’t scary enough, this one’s fuckin’ flying.
We don’t want to make your Monday morning any worse, but there’s something you need to see. A group of fishermen off the San Diego coast have discovered a new species of shark — one that literally soars. The flying mako, known by scientists as the Pistris Volantis, is a serious threat to seals, birds, and SUPers alike.
Capable of lofting itself upwards of 15 feet in the air, this aquatic abomination is likely the creation of widely acclaimed and apparently prophetic film Sharknado™. When we feed sharks these delusions of grandeur, we must expect negative repercussions. Remember what happened after Jaws? Probably a shark attack, somewhere, maybe.
Unfortunately, it’s too late on this one. We can expect an unprecedented aquatic aerial assault rate in 2016 — the flying-fish attacks of ’83 will be laughable in comparison. The only thing you can do is keep your eyes peeled and stay classy, San Diego.