Surf: 5-foot and thickEvents held: Women concludedNature’s call: You go, girlPredicted: Some more a’ that good stuffThirty seconds into today’s semi final number two, Kauai’s number-one female nut case hurled herself into a thick, west bowl.Teahupo’o wasn’t impressed. As she reached the wave’s below-sea-level bottom, it jumped at her as if possessed by some malicious spirit. The young woman at this point was faced with a very practical decision: pull in or die trying. Unfortunately for the silly wave, Keala Kennaly wasn’t fazed.At the last possible opportunity, under the persuasion of who knows what, she put her head down, nudged lightly on that inside rail, and just barely missed being guillotined by a Medusa-headed lip. And that was before things got weird.A few seconds later, she flew free from the wave’s spiral clutches on a foaming ball of mist. Her girls yelled from the channel, “What a bitch!” — meaning they liked it. This seemed to push her over the edge. She passed up her chance at the ever-popular head-shake hide-a-claim, and instead did something that, in this amateur head-shrink’s opinion, said quite a bit more about the Teahupo’o event’s now four-time winner. With the channel now out of reach, and the wave unloading on dry reef, the crazy Kauaian went. . . .for an off the lip?”Um…yeah,” came from the event’s normally garrulous MC, Brad Gerlach.While she was helped off the reef by water patrol, her score was announced at 9.60. Minutes later, once scraped off the coral cheese grater, she did something similar for an 8.40, bringing her to an insurmountable 18.00 of 20.00 total points. Put simply, she was out of her mind.Now, we must admit that compared to this, the final was anticlimactic. No doubt Keala and her good friend, Rochelle Ballard, have bigger balls than many young men; it’s just that during the day’s final, they were forced to keep them tucked in those cute, surfer girl boardshorts of theirs. Mostly the heat was a lull, with the few good waves seeing gutsy, unmade late drops by both finalists. Nevertheless, the final results did prove impressive in some other ways.

For one — with this win, Keala has now won two-thirds of this year’s tour following her win at last week’s Roxy Tavarua Pro. This brings her to a 648-point lead for the tour’s crown. Which wasn’t something the well-liked blonde’s peers seem too surprised about. The girls were all hugs and kisses after the final check of 10 G’s was doled out to the tours newest runaway killer. Even when she bragged about it in there faces.”How was that one I got against you in the semi?” she reminded South African, Heather Clarke, after the whole gig was done. Yeah, the girl is definitely out there. Only now, it’s in more ways than one.— Hagan KelleyOfficial Billabong Pro Teahupoo Women’s Final1st Keala Kennelly (Haw) 9.83 – US$10,000
2nd Rochelle Ballard (Haw) 7.84 – US$6,000
Semifinals (1st>Final; 2nd=3rd, receives US$4,000)
SF1: Rochelle Ballard (Haw) 12.73 def. Melanie RedmanCarr (Aus) 6.83
SF2: Keala Kennelly (Haw) 18.0 def. Heather Clark (SAfr) 5.66
Quarterfinals (1st>Semifinals; 2nd=5th, receives US$3,000
QF1: Rochelle Ballard (Haw) 10.26 def. Marie Pierre Abgrall (Fra) 5.23
QF2: Melanie RedmanCarr (Aus) 15.6 def. Layne Beachley (Aus) 14.3
QF3: Keala Kennelly (Haw) 17.67 def. Chelsea Georgeson (Aus) 14.83
QF: Heather Clark (SAfr) 11.5 def. Kate Skarratt (Aus) 8.{{{57}}}
Current Ratings after Billabong Pro Teahupoo WCT#3
1. Keala Kennelly (Haw) 2,{{{760}}}
2. Layne Beachley (Aus) 2,112
3. Heather Clark (SAfr) 2,088
4. Trudy Todd (Aus) 1,884
5. Sofia Mulanovich (Peru) 1,872
6. Chelsea Georgeson (Aus) 1,860
7. Rochelle Ballard (Haw) 1,692
8. Jacqueline Silva (Brz) 1,668
9. Melanie RedmanCarr (Aus) 1,476
10. Lynette MacKenzie (Aus) 1,464