Only one surfer is good enough to attack a photographer for taking unauthorized photos of him — and it ain’t Chris Martin. Yet, not even on Kelly Slater’s worst air day would he go to the lengths of the Coldplay frontman, who was recently charged with malicious damage when he allegedly accosted a photographer who was trying to take pictures of him surfing. According to Sydney’s Daily Telegraph, the pasty British rocker, perhaps better known for his relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow than for his sensitive falsetto, was trying to get a few waves in before a concert when the July 20 incident occurred. Apparently, Martin was pulling into some sunny tubes at Seven Mile Beach, a secluded strip of sand chock-full of frolicking nudists near Byron Bay, Australia, when he noticed Jon Lister taking photos of him. It’s not known if the freelance photographer snapped a pic of the singer doing an off-key cutback or a missed-note bottom turn, but when Martin came into the shore, it’s clear that he turned his amps up to 11 on Lister. In the parking lot, Martin demanded that Lister erase the digital photos he had taken. When Lister refused, Martin smashed the windshield of Lister’s car and let the air out of his tires. Paltrow was reportedly in Australia at the time of the scuffle but was not present to see her man in action in the water or on the beach. Local police released Martin after the confrontation but ordered him to appear in court October 8. — Jamie Tierney