Surf: Head high to your dome, boyeee!Events held: Men’s round three, stayin’ way OG.Nature’s call: Well in my opinion you’re all a bunch of kooks. I throw buckets on all ya’ll.Predicted: Boost execs handing out hundos on the beach. Get money.

“Go, Hitza. This is your whole life.” Yes, this is serious stuff. Aussie pro, Jake ‘The Snake’ Paterson slams his fist on the table, hoping for his mate, Luke Hitchings, that he’ll somehow top the tall, silky mamba himself, Joel Parkinson. Hitza has just pulled a power-packed ride worth 9.43 and now paddles fast back to peak, probably dreaming, ‘WHAT IF I BEAT PARKO!’

It probably won’t happen.

For one thing, a weird priority malfunction forced the judges to call for a “do-over” tomorrow morning. And two, Parko’s already risen to the challenge, smacking three hydrant-bursting cool slinky body turns for 8.83, to remind why he’s one of the tour’s official gnar-gnar dudes. Here’s a short list of who did the deed today:

1.Kelly Slater draws first blood against Dane Reynolds. For a nice mid bowl right he paddles, kicks, digs like a madman — and should we blame him — his young opponent has already stomped his formidable rival, Andy Irons, yesterday. What’s to say the kid wants to stop here? But Kelly has the eye of the tiger. He digs into this first wave and drives straight into a carving reverse. Tour vets call this the ‘First Big Move!’ Complete it and you’re gold. To the rocks: 8.5. Still, Dane hangs in the whole time, sticking one of his ‘very modern’ air revos for 8.0, but it’s not enough. Kelly looks as though he’s surfing to protect his good name. You can see it in how he’s come out swinging, how he’s popping airs where a regular floater would suffice. These are the signs of a hungry king. And with all these new kids, his 80s ‘pet-the-cat’ style is really starting to show. He seals his point with a 9.25 right. Snap, slash, zing, wheelie loft air over section to ‘Orrgggh, ya see that –right into his bottom turn!” That’s right, Taj Burrow, that’s an air to foam end click to high-speed power slam reverse. Sorry, Dane.

2.Dane is dangerous, but in this game, {{{CJ}}} Hobgood is PRECISE. “That board looks slow,” says wife Rachel. No biggie for Ceej, though — just a couple hook snaps and an average 8.3 warm up wave. Where Taj Burrow looks frantic, mind spinning, tires burning, peeling, marbles bouncing ’round his head; as though he must go fast just to keep on his feet, CJ looks calculated. And for that, he’s the standout of today. Where Kelly looks almost insanely driven by an urge to astound, CJ is flowing through his Boost Mobile heats, treating them like an average, ordinary thing. {{{Eight}}} point rides are just what he does, with a dry, controlled passion unique only to him. Parko is calm, but with CJ there is no hint of apathy. It’s perfectly clear what he’s out to do: win the Boost Mobile Pro. — Hagan Kelley

Boost Mobile Pro Round Three Heats (1st>Rnd4; 2nd=17th receives US$4,225)
{{{H1}}}: Greg Emslie (ZAF) 16.4 def. Mark Occhilupo (AUS) 15.1
{{{H2}}}: Daniel Wills (AUS) 15.4 def. Tim Curran (USA) 13.17
{{{H3}}}: Cory Lopez (USA) 17.5 def. Lee Winkler (AUS) 15.73
H4: Raoni Monteiro (BRA) 16.27 def. Damien Hobgood (USA) 15.24
H5: Taj Burrow (AUS) 15.77 def. Troy Brooks (AUS) 11.84
H6: Darren O’Rafferty (AUS) 13.77 def. Dean Morrison (AUS) 12.83
H7: Pat O’Connell (USA) 14.94 def. Kalani Robb (HAW) 14.6
H8: Kelly Slater (USA) 17.77 def. Dane Reynolds (USA) 15.33
H9: C.J. Hobgood (USA) 16.0 def. Armando Daltro (BRA) 12.33
H10: Paulo Moura (BRA) 15.0 def. Guilherme Herdy (BRA) 14.0
H11: Jake Paterson (AUS) 13.5 def. Tom Whitaker (AUS) 12.83
H12: Luke Egan (AUS) 16.17 def. Trent Munro (AUS) 14.33
H13: Joel Parkinson (AUS) vs. Luke Hitchings (AUS)
H14: Peterson Rosa (BRA) 16.2 def. Richard Lovett (AUS) 15.17
H15: Nathan Hedge (AUS) 17.83 def. Marcelo Nunes (BRA) 12.73
H16: Taylor Knox (USA) 15.17 def. Michael Campbell (AUS) 10.43