Dear Samsung,

I just finished watching your latest commercial with superstar Gabriel Medina riding one of your new Galalxy walkie-talkie surfboards. Wow. So much innovation you packed into a mere three minutes. Forgive me for my scattered thoughts, my head is still spinning.

What your advertisement inflicted on me (besides a burning impatience for the day I can send pictures of my genitalia to my friends while they’re in the middle of a cutback) was an empowering burst of inspiration to chase down a few ideas of my own that, until now, I’ve been too timid to pursue. So please, Samsung, submit any/all ideas to your obviously thriving ideas department so they can be brought to fruition ASAP.

– Wine bed: Just like a waterbed, but with wine. Get thirsty for some Pinot in the middle of the night? Problem solved.

– Chip gloves: Say goodbye to flaming hot cheeto stained fingers. Say hello to a better world.

– The questamation mark: Can I patent this

– Dog watches: Don’t you hate when your dog asks to go outside in the middle of the night? If only he knew what time it actually was, then maybe he would realize he was being foolish to want to pee at 3 am.

– Dog Tinder: Pretty self explanatory.

– Dog bar: Ok, last dog one I swear. A bar where there are a good 20 or 30 friendly ass dogs roaming around just begging to be pet. Is there any better pairing than sipping on a cold Budweiser while playing fetch with an unrelenting Labrador?

– Pretty much any modern day invention, just catered to dogs.

Thank you for reading this. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy day which is probably filled with meetings and brainstorms and taking elevators to high numbered floors and keeping your shoes at the utmost level of shiny. Wait…

– Dog shoe shiner.



Dayton Silva