This might be the solution to California’s drought problem. This being Julian Wilson’s engagement to Ashley Osborne. The solution being a flood of tears from the mostly angelic blue eyes of California’s population of single females. JW and AO just decided on tying the knot — in Paris, none the fucking less — and now Julian is retired…from single life. Seeing as we are a high-performance surf magazine, let’s dive into what that means for high-performance surfing. The way I see it, there are three different ways this could go.
Option 1) With Misses Wilson as his rock, Julian will gain a newfound sense of stability that he will transform into confidence that he will transform into the next nineteen World Titles.
Option 2) With Misses Wilson as his Misses Wilson, Julian will suddenly stop trying because he’s already made a bunch of money and married an amazing woman. He will fall off tour in 2016 and start an Etsy store to sell homemade puka shell necklaces from Australia’s Sunshine Coast.
Option 3) Nothing will change at all and you will hurl insults at me in the comment section.
Only time will tell. Time, and your fingertips. —Brendan Buckley