2005 North Shore Week In Review: 12-12-05 to 12-20-05

The Award Show Edition

Slater gets out of the sun at Pipe

What? It's over? Already? Come on, seems like we were just getting started. How about just one more barrel? One more frollicky squirt in that warm Hawaiian punchbowl before everybody gotta schlep it all back to everywhere else that can't compare to this? No? OK, well at least lemme refill my drink before we start handing out the awards. Right? Right.

OK, everyone settled. Everyone happy. Please hold your applause until all the awards have been passed out, and nobody f–king talk 'cause this is some serious, serious, serious sheet.

Wednesday night. Full moon. Four-foot Off-The-Wall. Mick, Parko, Andy and a couple other shadowy rippers were getting barrel upon barrel in the shimmering blackness. Other full moon sessions were going down at virtually every break on the North Shore (it was just that kind of night), but this one, ho my god, sick, buddy. Just sick.
YOUR PRIZE: Six pack of glowsticks. OK, and six pack, too. Now go to sleep.

These days, when da boyz aren't watching the World Series of Poker on TV, they're probably playing poker somewhere. No Limit Texas Hold 'Em to be exact. But Danny Fuller upped the ante when he instigated "The 6'2" Challenge", held at Chris Won's house. The buy-in to the game was a 6'2" surfboard and the winner takes all. Bruce Irons, Dustin Barca, Parko, Freddy Pattachia (cheers for the Bud Light, by the way) and many others were, uh, "all in." Last man standing, local boy Kepana Miranda walked away with 20 6'2"s. Holy crap! Twenty new boards! Where does someone even put that many boards? "We're definitely on for the 2nd Annual next year," said Fuller. "Maybe make it a charity event or something." Sounds good, we'll see you there. Who's in?
YOUR PRIZE: You get nahting, brah. Nah -teeng. Go wax some of those boards.

Kalani Chapman and the boys celebrate another North Shore season.
This is a tough one. Lotta entries this week, including Luke Stedman and Malia Jones' engagement party, Sunny Garcia's retirement party at the Hard Rock Cafe, and all the various victory/near-victory/screw-victory parties that went down after the Rip Curl Pipe Masters wrapped up mid-Saturday. The Billabong house was in full effect for Andy's Triple Triple Triple shindig. The O'Brien backyard was pumping in honor of Kalani Chapman making the finals after Jamie walked up and down the beach recruiting every female in sight while slugging from a full bottle of champagne (at least, it was full when he left; empty when he came back). The Beschen household was rocking side to side in commemoration of Shane's final WCT contest. But probably the most classic mash-up went down at the Rip Curl's Off-The-Wall rental, when someone decided they should trash the place because…well, they could. Brilliant. Beers and broken bottles on the floors. Condiments everywhere. Holes in the walls. Then someone came up with the awesome idea of throwing eggs into the ceiling fans so the yokes splattered everywhere. Yeah, wreck the place, boys. Sick fun.
YOUR PRIZE: A ${{{200}}} cleaning service coupon or lose your deposit. Crashers choice.

We're keeping this one for ourselves. SURFING Magazine and Rip Curl teamed up to bro-down a bunch of West Side elementary school kids during the final day of the Rip Curl Pipe Masters. Shuttle to the beach, nice lunch pack, insane goodie bag and hanging out with Bruce Irons, Pancho Sullivan and Jamie O'Brien, who cruised by to sign their New Era hats, Pipe Masters posters and t-shirts. How stoked were these kids? We saw one tear off his t-shirt and chuck it on the ground, then slip into his crisp new "Pipe Legion" shirt from his overflowing goodie bag. Yeah, real stoked.
YOUR PRIZE: The looks on the kids faces was prize enough. (OK, we confess, we snagged some swag from the goodie bags. Yes!)

Paulo Moura for pulling Makua Rothman's leash as he was taking off on a wave during the Pipe Masters. Brah, what were thinking? Makua paddled back out and slapped him. And nobody said nothing.
YOUR PRIZE: A one-way ticket back to Brazil. (Wait, where'd he go? Already left? Never mind.)

Kickball? Kelly Slater? Yup.
All-Bus Kickball Tournament at Sunset Elementary. Contest over. Hangovers all around. Blown out surf. Mega-barbecue. Live music. Everyone kicking it. Teams like Jack Johnson's Power Squad (with Kelly Slater, Tamayo Perry, Emelia Perry, and Pancho Sullivan), the All-Bus Boys, the Average Joes, Team Da Hui. Lotta guys. And who won? Everyone who came, that's who. (Yeah yeah, you're right, we have no friggin' idea. Why do you care so much anyway? It's just kickball.)
YOUR PRIZE: All haoles will now leave the island. Yeah, you're welcome very much.

Alright, folks, you heard the man. Outta here. You had your fun. Did your little surfy-surf trade show hoopla wave party. Now beat it. Haole means hello and goodbye. So pack your trash, thank your hosts and beat it. (All joking aside, a huge thanks to the entire North Shore community – you give so much love each year, opening your homes, your hearts and your waves to all these wayward surf-orphans of the world, we are humbled by your boundless aloha. Forgive us our trespasses. And lead us straight into temptation. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.) So that's it. For all the locals, you can have your waves back, thanks for sharing. For all the visitors, there a warm shower and clean clothes just an airplane ride away: Vegimite for the Aussies, better g-strings for the Brazilians and traffic jams for the yanks. Damn, it'll be good to be home. And then we'll all start wishing we were back on The Rock. So it goes.

Until next year…Aloha. Mahalo. And Godzilla.