Seabass Wins The 2016 Drug Aware Margaret River Pro

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Photos: Jimmicane

Well, The Box has officially gone dry. Finals day promised medium sized southwesterly swell that would light up our favorite back-breaking slab, but we woke to Filipe-sized Margaret's instead. Main Break, or the "racetrack" as Ross calls it, is more like a bumper-car course if you ask me

Let's see who can do three to the rocks!

In semi 1, Jules and Joel traded off wind-slowed 4 footers, doing their best impressions of a guy from my youth known as Cutback Gary. Gary loved cutbacks. Apparently Jules and Joel do too. Nevertheless, someone had to cut it back slightly better than the other, and the judges chose Julian. Onto the final with him.

Next up was the Italian Ferrari vs. slippery Seabass – a perfect juxtaposition in my eyes. There's Italo's goofy to Seabass's regular and Italo's staccato rhythm to Seabass's smooth jazz. But who would win? Frontside cutbacks always beat backside cutbacks, duh! Seabass wraps his way to the final.

Pre-final thoughts: We're all bored to tears by cutbacks, right? I know this is a tired notion at this point, but can we really allow waves like Bells and Margies on the World Tour? I'm 98% sure neither KP nor the guys or gals on tour want to surf these "iconic" breaks, so why don't we change it? Can't we revolt or something? With roughly 3 billion viewers per event, I'd think it would be pretty hard to stop us if we banded together. Let's give it a try. Rev up them social media sites and hit 'em hard with #stopthecutback posts. Gary would be sad but he's dead now and so are Bells and Margies.

The final starts with a cutback! Julian dropped a quick 8 and 7, followed by an explosive two-turn 9-pointer from the Bassman. Then… fizzle. An unprecedented 20-minute lull plagued the lineup, with Sebass needing a 7. It was eerily flat.

The waves finally returned for the remaining 10 minutes, setting up an 8 from Julian. However it was Seabass who dropped the hammer on another two-turn combo, giving him the lead with 3 minutes on the clock. Small waves would rise and fall, teasing Wilson, the disgruntled owner of three runner-up trophies in 2015. Margies would prove to be his fourth in two years. Sebass wins!

We can't help but be f—ing ecstatic for the fun-loving Hawaiian. Awesome surfer, even better personality. And according to this contest, he's got the meanest cutty in the game. Gary would have approved.

Now to Rio, let's get spinny! #stopthecutback #prayforfilipe