What Should We Make Our Intern Do On The North Shore?

Internet-tough-guy-trollWhich way to the orgy? Photo: Dayton Silva

He came to us with braces.

Thin hair, too. The type of thin that was absolutely styled as a bowl cut in his younger years, but had morphed into something less phallic as time passed. He wanted to get into surf writing — the highest form of journalism, indisputably — and lived nearby. So he started coming to the office and we’d make him do all the relatively pointless shit that none of us wanted anything to do with.

He got better. And better. And better. And now, at the ripe age of 18 or maybe 19, he contributes to the site. With our very light, very fun Bright Side theme for Hawaii this year, we decided to fly him out to the North Shore for the first time and give him a list of stupid things to do and then write about for the sake of humor. Such as:

-Buy a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from the grocery store. Bring said chicken to beach at Pipe Masters and try to get CT surfers to sign it.
-Fly a “drone” at Pipe Masters. Drone is in quotations because we want him to duct-tape a GoPro to a kite and see if the WSL tries to deny him.
-Deliver a Digorno pizza to Kelly Slater’s house?
-Give him a lengthy shopping list and send him into Foodland to do grab everything…with a surfboard under his arm the whole time.

So, any ideas?