“I’m trying to take this seriously for Lowers but it’s hard when the waves aren’t going to be very serious. We’re in for a long week folks.” —Jimmicane
I’m riding with Ke11y for the rest of the year. He’s on a killing spree. Honestly I can’t believe he lost to Owen in the NY final, although I am glad Owen won it. You just don’t see Kelly lose in finals often. Kolohe mentions how Slater never peaks too early in events. He just does what he needs to do then saves his best for last. I guess in NY he blew his load in the semis with that full-rotator late slob against Taj. I also want to say a thank you to Slater for doing that because I pretty much got the best photo of my life. You will see it in SURFING soon.
The bottom line is, Taj is surfing as good as he ever has. Sure he’s still cursed and isn’t going to win the world title, but he’s givin’ it hell. Kinda like the Buffalo Bills of the ’90s. Some people are just unlucky to be in the same era as Kelly Slater, and TB is the most unlucky. Still, is there anyone besides Kelly that you’d rather watch surf Lowers than Taj? In my opinion there isn’t.
I’m an idiot. I took Kerr off my New York team at the last second and threw in Brett Simpson because I went to a luxury suite at a Yankees game with Brett and we bonded over beers and free stadium food. I love seeing Brett do good but it seems like I always curse him when I put him in Passion Picks, so I’m giving him a break and going back to my initial instinct. The judges have been iffy at best this year, seeming to change their minds about what they think is cool every event, but this one they are going to score airs and no one in the world is better at airs than Josh Kerr.
How the hell do you go from unqualified to the 16th seed in your first ever non-wildcard WT appearance? You do it by completely dominating the Prime events, that’s how. I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of this kid because he does Superman airs, which are completely retarded, but with the waves being small, there might not be anyone more dangerous.
I heard some story about Davo getting naked and being out in the hallway at the Allegria Hotel in New York. It apparently caused a bit of a scene. Not sure exactly what was going on in that situation but it’s legendary. That will land you a spot on Passion Picks anytime — but his Lowers track record is also ridiculously good. I just hope he shows up for his heat!
No one in this event has spent more time out there than this man. Aside by being one of my favorite humans on earth, Pat has been on fire with his surfing lately. In New York he was slaying shit between the jetties east of the contest site. The full family and friends crew will be down on the beach getting passionate. I can’t wait!
I’m running out of budget down here so why not take a flyer on the dude who won the Nike Lowers Prime event? Again, not someone I’m going to put in my “favorite surfers” department, but he’s clearly got the moves to get the scores and he doesn’t weigh much so that’ll help in the small conditions. Plus he looks goofy as hell in his photo on the Fantasy Action Sports website too, so he stuck out to me. By the way, how creepy does Kerr look!? Holy shit! And Taj has a massive double chin. Davo looks like a serial killer. Medina looks like he he’s feeling a bit sick. Those photos are epic!
Wildcard: Rob Machado
I only had $1 million left so I’m forced to run with this. I was hoping for Kolohe but it ended up being Rob Machado. Some of you might know, me and Rob are #notbestfriends, but I did apologize to him in person during US Open. I’ve written him off publicly a few times for things like driving a creep van, being super underground negative, and
seemingly hating his life. We do have a bunch of mutual friends and after a week of being rousted in Mexico, Mick Fanning convinced me to say I’m sorry. Rob didn’t seem to really accept that apology but it’s all good. I gave it a shot.