The US Open is a clusterfuck.
There's stuff going on everywhere, and it's hard to know where to be at any given time. In the spirit of keeping you happy and informed, we've created an unofficial itinerary to Huntington Beach's yearly bender.
Here's where you need to be on Thursday, July 28th:
Event: CJ Hobgood Walk of Fame Induction
Where: In front of Jack's Surf Shop
When: 10 AM
Why: Because you've watched enough clips of CJ in your lifetime to warrant a 10 minute display of respect. Clifton will be remembered not just as a World Champion, but as a fierce competitor, a style master, and a great man. Come be a part of history.
Event: Men's Pro Heat 10
Where: Le Pier
When: 12 PM
Why: This heat has Filipe, whose merits at HB go without saying. Then there's Brett, the 2x US Open champ who is currently trying to revive a declining professional career. Next there's Jeremy, perhaps the most hot-headed competitor since Sunny Garcia. Lastly is Santiago Muniz, who will do a tow-headed version of his big brother's game. It's gonna be a cracker.
Event: Pope's Living Room Happy Hour for PT
Where: Pope's Living Room, on the corner of Main and Walnut
When: 5-7 PM
Why: Because Pope's is poppin' and Peter Townend is a class act. Also, the bar is co-owned by the Ho family, meaning a lot of fun and a lot of big names will be in store.
*Extra credit: To anyone who has the balls to buy Coco a drink in front of her dad/uncle/brother.
Event: Grapes the Cat Party
Where: 719 W. 19th St., Costa Mesa, CA
When: 9 PM- 2 AM
Why: Because these guys are cool as they come, and no doubt their party will one for the ages. Come indulge in the festivities with fine women, lots of booze, and …phone chargers?
*Daily tip: Unless you're doing it pre-9AM, the best place to take a shit is NOT in the port-o-potties. Go to a restaurant, buy a drink, and use their bathroom. Your unwet hiney will thank you.