Barkeep…Another Round! ­— Damien Fahrenfort

Damien FahrenfortAfter a night of revelry, Damien washes away his hangover and reminisces a night of good conversation

Here are the six individuals, living or dead, with whom Damien Fahrenfort would drink with if given the chance. Barkeep...Another Round!



Because he is the greatest person who has ever lived and has the highest selling book of all time. It would be on a plane — in economy class — because it’s closer to home for him. We would drink red wine (obviously) and talk about where I am going wrong. I would try to find out the bigger picture for my life — what route to take at certain cross roads and how to stop all the internet hate. Maybe get some lotto numbers too. I would then apologize for everything bad I have done and will do.

nelson mandela

Nelson Mandela

Who wouldn’t want to hang out with the most gracious and forgiving man alive? We would drink Whiskey because that’s what old people drink. We would talk about the future of South Africa and how to help. It would be in a old-school gentlemen’s club — maybe with some cigars. South Africa has so much potential but still so much hate. Anyone that can forgive another race after they put them in jail for 27 years on a phony crime has some special answers and could help me with my own personal problems. It would be epic to get an Instagram with him too.

amy winehouse

Amy Winehouse

I felt like she was the last of the true rock and rollers. Yes, she was an alcohol/drug addict, but she was a rock star through and through. We would hang back stage at one of her concerts and consume so much alcohol that when she finally went on stage, she wouldn’t be able to hold herself up like most of her shows. I like being around crazy people — they are really interesting and unpredictable — she would show me a mad night.


Any Homeless Man

Probably have drinks under a bridge around a trash can fire. The drink would be paint thinner. Homeless people always fascinate me. They all have a crazy story and I would ask them about how they got there and what choices they had. My friend BT hung out with this guy who lived on the street for 5 years just out of choice. Then one day, he got a job and is now rich. You could only imagine the things these people have seen. I would ask for a day by day recap.

South Africa

My Mates from Home

I don’t get to see them much, but they are all classic in their own way. We would be drinking whatever I was buying because they’re all poor and it would probably be at Fisherman’s in Kommetjie (a little fishing bar in Cape Town with decent pizza). The thing with small towns is nothing changes, so they would just be filling me in with who’s sleeping with who now. Also, there would probably be a mad bar fight because they love to get into brawls while I am trying to be the voice of reason. In the morning, it’s always a good hangover and a funny breakfast with the crew.

tom cruise

Tom Cruise

I have got one thing to ask him. Why did you jump on Opera’s couch?