Ricky Whitlock, Ninja Turtle

Here are the six individuals, living or dead, with whom Ricky Whitlock would drink with if given the chance. Barkeep…Another Round!

ninja turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

This would be my childhood dream. We would skate around all the sewers that are perfect full pipes. I would hook them all up with some Sector 9’s and we would dominate the under city world. Occasionally coming up for pizza and some beers and beat up any bad guys trying to steal ladies purses or trying to hit on April. Then we would go to the clubs and break dance battle everyone. The night would end with a nice lecture from Splinter.

P.S. I’ve recently become a Ninja Turtle myself.


Homer Simpson

How could you not want to get drunk with Homer and Barney and the crew? I've wanted to drink a Duff beer and hang out at Moes before I even knew what a beer or bar was. We would sit at Moes and drink beer all night until we fell on our faces. Then once we stumbled back to our feet I would take him to the power plant in Carlsbad right by Warm Waters. Since Homer works at a power plant in Springfield he should know how to work everything. And if he doesn’t we will just start pushing buttons till it turns on the drain to “full time” that creates the sand bar out at Warmies and also makes the water warm all year long! Then to finish off the night we would go to the donut store and eat donuts till we puked.

three stooges

Three Stooges

This would probably be the funniest night ever! We would go to all the bars around my house and probably get kicked out of every single one, which is standard anyway. I would do anything I could to get them to start fighting each other and also make it my night goal to start a riot. It would be glorious.



This isn’t if I could hang with Tupac its when? Cause Tupac is alive chilling in Cuba. Haha. Anyhow, we would definitely start out the night by getting some Old English 40 ouncers and head to his studio. We would drink and talk about all his theory’s he has and he would freestyle a song and it would be his new number 1 hit. After that we would rally the crew of Suge Night, Snoop and Dr. Dre and hit the clubs and pop bottles till the sun came up.

hank moody

Hank Moody

Those of you who don’t know who Hank Moody is are missing out on the best TV show of all time, “Californication.” I know Matt Meola already said Hank Moody but I don’t care. Matt is smart because this would be the best night ever! It wouldn’t matter where or what time of the day/night it was. But if we had an agenda we would definitely start out the day in Malibu. And of course I would call up Pascal Steinfield because he pretty much is a living Hank Moody. Hank would probably disappear with some mom on the beach and I would either tag along in hope that she has a hot daughter or I would be on the prowl myself. If the day pans out right neither of us would end up getting beat up by angry jealous boyfriends or husbands or in jail. We would hit the streets of Hollywood where Hank would run into a bunch of famous people and make them feel stupid. And the girls would come crawling. Don’t ask why, this is just how it works. What happens after this is to remain a mystery because I can’t let out that kind of information. But you get where I’m going with it.