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NAMOTU ISLAND: GLOBE FIJI PRO PRESENTATION PARTY UPDATE:Help, send in the military! The island is fast descending into a state of anarchy. Contest winner Kelly Slater saw the warning signs early and beat a hasty retreat. The champ performed a few perfunctory ceremonial duties and media interviews, but as the Namotu inmates began forcibly pressing the dreaded Skulldrags (a potent local cocktail) upon him, for perhaps the first time this event the champ took a few backwards steps and could be seen casting glances around for his support crew. Soon after, Slater, caddy Todd Klein and Tavarua manager Jon Roseman made a discrete exit. Earlier, Mick Fanning had collected the {{{Freestyle}}} tube time award for the longest tube ride of the event; a 12 second Houdini act at Restaurants early in the event. Mick performed a convincing recreation of the winning ride, after collecting a cheque for two grand and promptly deposting it on the crowded Namotu Bar. Mick also took the opportunity to thank event wild card and recent retiree Mark Occhilupo. “You’ve been so special to us, Occ. We love you” he announced to wild applause.Kelly was gracious in victory, despite the hostile mutterings from some surfers. “When is he going to go and let a life?” one young Aussie was heard to grumble on the boat ride back from Cloudbreak.”I was told by some of the boys back at Tavarua to talk some shit about the Tavarua/Namotu rivalry but I won’t say too much. I’m getting some mad stares.” Kelly commented, as he collected his fetching ‘double platinum’ record-style trophy. Occy helped officate during the presentation and congratulated runnerup {{{CJ}}} for what he called, “some of the best surfing I’ve seen in your semi and quarter.”From there, things quickly grew messy. The camera crew from an obscure Australian cable TV show called ‘Blokesworld’ found themselves shooting an exclusive interview between Kelly and Occ quite by accident and couldn’t believe their luck. The pretty girl from {{{Fox}}} Sport found herself surrounded by eager pro surfers more than happy to co-operate with whatever media commitments she might assign them. And young Yadin Nichol grabbed the mike and cameraman from the Globe crew and began harrassing innocent passersby with probing questions and sprays of spittle.I only just managed to slink away and file this report without being seized in a headlock by an enraged media representative, aghast at the fact that I planned on performing any professional functions at this point of proceedings. There are screams coming from the bar as I write so I will don my flak jacket and venture forth to see what other carnage has transpired since I left. Wish me luck.