From Couch-o Simpo… (Day 4)

“I’m just out on the couch, trying to recover,” would be Brett’s status update on Facebook right now. If he had the energy to post it. He just spoke those words via cell phone in a defeated, half-asleep drawl as yet another Sprite Slam Dunk Contest replay spills from the archives of NBA TV. Why is Brett Simpson, 24 year-old ball of positive energy, all laid up at only 8:45pm? Simple, I just beat the hell out of him.


Naaaaahhhhhh. Kevin Dean did it; he ran his boys ragged today down at the beach. They got outside the gym for today’s workout, doing a rather vicious sprint/surf/sprint circuit in shat-blown Huntington all afternoon. To wit:

  1. Run around a lifeguard tower.
  2. Charge into the Victory At Sea conditions and score at least a 6 in twenty minutes.
  3. Return to the beach and repeat steps 1 and 2.
  4. Become dispirited and consider a career with Vons (great cheese discounts).
Sound like fun, being a pro surfer? Brett’s icing up right now, which is pretty much what he does when not surfing or training. Always a hotpack, an icepack, a bowl of pills, a masseuse, an electromagnetic pulse tingling his spine. Something to inch his taxed-out body back towards normal functionality. He’s a harrrrrrd worker, this boy.
But still, being a pro surfer IS fun. Today we went to Hurley and played in the offices. Pat O’Connell took us out for poke bowls. Nixon delivered a few pairs of their hip-as-Haight new headphones. A respected sports doctor shined his patients to rub Brett’s back for an hour. And…shucks what was the other thing? Fish…pants…bloodflow…Oh, his girlfriend’s a swimsuit model. That’s all.
Wait, not yet. Check out the SI Swimsuit Issue’s cover of Bar Refaeli – HURLEY model. Pat was giddy about this. He told us she came into the office once and he “hugged that.”