Nice Try, Great White

Great Whites are said to be elite predators. They are supposed to be meticulous killers, like James Bond with a softer jawline and sharper teeth. They are built to kill and never to fail…but then you’ve got this guy out on Cape Cod ruining the reputation for everyone.

I’m gonna level with you here. I’ve been to Massachusetts before, I’ve seen Good Will Hunting. What I’m saying is that I get it. Massholes like to drink. And that’s fine, it’s just that I wish they did it more responsibly. Otherwise you look stupid. Like, this is the equivalent of a slightly overweight and substantially red-faced 28-year-old guy with a Boston Bruins tattoo stumbling out of Fenway after the Saturday afternoon game looking for a fight. In other words, it’s embarrassing. You’re better than that, shark.